Is anxiety common?

Yes, it is. We all feel anxious or worried from time to time. It is natural to feel anxious about financial concerns, an upcoming interview or a loved one who is ill. In the current situation many are anxious about job security, pay cuts, the prospect of children not being able to go to school or daycare for a long time, chances of contracting the virus, plans falling through – the list goes on. Sometimes there is a generalized sense of worry about everything, and it can be hard to identify a specific cause.

A certain amount of anxiety can be good – it alerts us to problems or challenges in our situation and motivates us to deal with that situation to reduce anxiety. If you were worried about exams or a performance review, it would motivate you to put in more effort. Unfortunately, if this anxiety is excessive it becomes counterproductive. We get caught up in those anxious feelings and struggle to move forward.

 If you are in this situation, here are a few strategies that you could try. 

Acceptance:

Accept that anxiety is natural and will pass if you manage it healthily and not fight it. When it flares - pause, breathe and remind yourself that it is temporary. 

Focus on what you can control: 

In every situation, some things are in your control and others that are not. It is important to distinguish between them. If you allow yourself to dwell on the things that are out of your control, your anxiety will spiral. Instead, focus your energy on what is within your control, and let go of the rest by saying, “This is not something that I have in my control so I will focus on the things that are.”

Let’s look at a couple of examples:

 - When you find yourself worrying about the virus, take out your phone or notebook and write down your specific fear. For example, “I am worried that I might get the virus and bring it home to my family.”

Next, write down what you can control and what you cannot control in this situation. For example, “I can control whether I wash my hands, maintain social distance and hygiene, but I cannot control whether I get the virus or not.”

- If your worry is ‘School will start online learning and I am worried that my child won’t be able to cope’. write down everything about that situation that is making you anxious. Then try to identify which parts of the situation are in your control. You may not be able to change the method that the school adopts but you could prepare your child for it, create a suitable environment, plan your day so you can help your child periodically and so on. Focusing on these things is likely to reduce your anxious feelings.

Identify alternatives to your feared outcomes

- At times we visualize terrible outcomes, which cause fear. 

- When you believe that something bad is going to happen, try to find objective evidence for the likelihood of this happening. Focus on the fear or unhelpful thought and write it down. (This will help you focus on the exercise and not ride the wave of fear.) For example: “I am going to lose my job. If I do I will not get another job and my career will be permanently damaged. I can’t face my family.’

- Then write out other possible outcomes based on fact and optimism. ‘I haven’t lost my job yet, and this might never happen.’ ‘Even if I lose my job, I can apply for other jobs.’ ‘It’s scary, but others are managing and I too can make it through this difficult period.’ ‘ I can be careful and save money, so if by any chance I do lose my job, I will have something to survive on.’

The point is to focus on facts and objective evidence rather than let your pessimistic feelings take over. You can stay positive if you realize there are several possible outcomes for any given situation, and they are not all bad!

Change the channel of anxiety: 

Just as you can choose to stop watching a scary movie, you can change the channel and focus on something that is less anxiety-provoking. Sometimes the anxiety itself is the centre of attention and you’re asking yourself “Why am I anxious?’ ‘How do I stop the anxiety?’

Redirect your attention to something else – find something that needs your attention and focus on that activity. Here are some options: household chores, a creative activity, reading an entertaining book, watching a funny movie, trying out a new recipe, chatting with a friend. Physical activity is particularly helpful so walking, jogging or a quick game can make a world of difference. Keep some such alternate activities in mind so that when you find the anxiety setting in, you can quickly engage in one of them.

Ask for help: 

If being anxious is adding to your anxiety, or you are struggling to shake off established thought patterns to try new strategies don’t be afraid to ask for help. Counsellors are trained to help you break the unhelpful cycle and cope better with anxiety. They can also help in situations when you are unable to pinpoint the cause of anxiety but just seem to be excessively anxious all the time. Read more about this here