Ever seen those couples whose relationships seem so in sync that you are left wondering “How do they do it”?  Here are the aspects of a relationship which contribute - some may come naturally while others may take effort, but incorporating these into your interactions can ensure a firm foundation for your relationship.

1. Spending quality time with each other: Very often we get so caught up in the activities of daily life such as paying bills and household chores that we forget to spend “quality time” with our partner. Spending time and more importantly enjoying the time that you spend with each other is essential.  Relationships shouldn’t be about ‘just having someone there’ but someone whose company you cherish and look forward to.  

2. Understanding and sharing values: Our value system is what governs our lives; and a difference in values is the most widespread cause for conflict. It may not matter so much if you disagree on things that are not important,  but it is helpful if you and your partner share the important values such as management of money, lifestyles, family and careers. Discussing and understanding your own values and that of your partner will help foster acceptance.

3. Respect: Respect is a key component of any relationship. There could be certain things about your partner that you respect – how they treat people, their dedication or commitment, or even certain characteristics or behavioural patterns which help you relate more positively towards them. In the long run, respect helps ride out storms even when love might seem to have disappeared from the relationship. When you find something you respect, hold on to it.  

4. Cultivating attraction to each other: Attraction is more than just physical. It means being comfortable with each other and wanting to be with the other person. You can be attracted to your partner’s sense of humor, their intelligence or even by their mere presence. Make it a point to recognise aspects that you appreciate, rather than focusing on perceived shortcomings.

5. Conflict resolution: Conflicts happen - it is important to resolve them and move on.

While each of these aspects maybe present to a certain degree in your relationship, you may want to enhance or build on them. You can work with our counsellors to understand how to make your relationship stronger.