It can be very difficult to speak to loved ones about their drinking habits, but this conversation could be imperative if their drinking has reached a level causing harm to themselves, their families, work and other significant relationships. It is also possible that the person drinking regularly & or excessively maybe in denial of its impact.

Here are some guidelines on having such conversations that can help towards its success;

1. The right time and place. It is so very important to have this conversation when the person is sober and not inebriated. When under the influence of alcohol ( or any other reality altering drugs) they will not have the clarity of mind to process what you are saying calmly and objectively. Ensure that it is a private conversation. Calling them out in the middle of a family/friend’s dinner or in a WhatsApp group is not appropriate and they might feel ganged up against and respond by withdrawing further. It could come across as public humiliation, and shaming people for drinking can deter them from seeking help
2. Express your concerns. One way to start the conversation is by asking them what is happening with them. Really listen to them and when it is your turn to talk, be brief and to the point. Mention specific situations where they have not been in control with themselves or drunk excessively. Understand what they feel about their alcohol consumption. Try and avoid using judgmental words such as ‘alcoholism’ or ‘alcoholic’. It is important to be empathetic. Make people understand that you’re in it with them, that you don’t support the addiction but you support them. 
3. Be prepared for defensiveness. Many people who have a problem with alcoholism are in denial of the extent of their problem. They often believe that it is within their control, even when it is evident to others that it is not. It could be helpful to highlight discrepancies between a person’s ambitions and the reality of how alcohol has interfered with these goals, or bring to awareness.

While we may make every effort to help the person who is addicted to alcohol, it may not always result in the person accepting the help/support or seeking intervention.  Accepting this is important. Al- Anon, a 12 step program for people affected by another's alcoholism, was started by the wife of a founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Its premise is "Nothing we say or do can cause or stop someone else's drinking" and "We are not responsible for another person's disease or recovery from it".   While this is freeing in some ways, it is also important for family members who are affected by the addiction to actively seek support to help them cope effectively.

Speaking about the addiction and its impact may not always be effective at the start. However, it could have the beneficial effect of disrupting the drinker's fantasy that they are not hurting anyone else.   Silence regarding addiction can be an admission of helplessness or worse a signal to the person that it is not a problem.