The pandemic has resulted in an increased awareness of mental and emotional well-being. Popular media houses have started conversations on how the pandemic has increased the prevalence of mental health concerns amongst the public, and these open dialogues have encouraged more and more people to talk about their own mental health struggles.

This is an excellent step in leading towards demystifying and destigmatizing the topic.

Unfortunately, however, there are clear gender differences in how open we are to people talking about their mental health. As a society, while we are now more accepting of women talking about depression and anxiety, we still do not make it easy for men to have that same conversation. It is very important to recognize that men need to take care of their mental well-being and are as suspectable to mental illness as women are.

What about emotions?

This is just not about mental health. Even when processing and expressing emotions, there are different expectations for men and women. Women are viewed as ‘sensitive’ and it is socially acceptable for women to express emotions such as fear and sadness. Men are seen as the “stronger sex” and from a young age, they are taught that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness. Research indicates that men who can’t speak openly about emotions may be less able to recognize symptoms of mental illnesses, and are less likely to reach out for support. Suppressing emotions can be extremely detrimental to a man’s (or woman’s) mental health.

Gender differences in mental health

Statistically, there are gender differences in the prevalence of mental disorders.  Women are more likely to get diagnosed with depression or anxiety (this could be the reality, or could just be indicating the fact that more women seek help for these concerns while men cover it up and suffer silently). However:

• Over 30% of men will experience a period of depression at some point during their lifetime
• About 9% of men report having feelings of depression or anxiety every day. 
• Depression and suicide are ranked as the leading cause of death among men in the age group of 40-49.
• Men are more likely to get diagnosed with schizophrenia than women, and men are likely to have it more severe than women.
• Men are also much more likely to get diagnosed with substance abuse disorders.

Men are also less likely to get treatment for mental illness, across different conditions.

What can men do to break out of this toxic cycle?

• Be honest about emotions: Know that everyone, male or female is going through a myriad of emotions, positive and negative. Recognize your emotions and talk about them when it feels right. When you are open about your emotions you are encouraging others around you to be open too. Talking to a close friend is a good way to start. It does take a lot of courage to be able to be vulnerable and open about emotions. 
• Find hobbies that help you reflect: Some hobbies like going for a walk, exercise, cooking, art and music  have proved to have a therapeutic effect. Giving yourself time to think while enjoying yourself (no matter what your hobby) will help you get in touch with your emotions.
• Have a strong social circle: Research has indicated that some men have a harder time establishing social connections, which are very important for our mental and physical well-being. People who have strong relationships with friends and family are more likely to recover from mental illness like depression, less likely to have a relapse from depression and schizophrenia and more likely to live longer. Having a circle of close family/friends that you spend regular time with, is crucial.
• Talk to a counsellor: In a counselling session, the counsellor will provide a safe space where one can explore thoughts, express emotions and be vulnerable without judgement, and at a pace comfortable to them. Counselling can help in dealing with emotions in a healthy and productive manner.