Nidhi was at her wits end. Her child did not seem to be very worried about exams but Nidhi firmly believed that children need to understand the importance of competition, and that “they will miss out if they are not excellent in their studies”. It is not uncommon for parents to have concerns like Nidhi’s. But are our concerns doing more harm than good for our children?

Parents often feel anxious when their children start appearing for exams because there are a lot of thoughts and questions on their mind –  Will my child score well? How would this exam affect my child’s future? What options will we have for their higher studies? If my child doesn’t do well now, what kind of a career will he/she have? What will I say to my family and friends about it?

These thoughts and worries make many parents behave in manners they wouldn’t have otherwise – constantly reminding children about the upcoming exams and coaxing them to study hard; cutting out on all kinds of entertainment and extra curricular activities; taking leave from work during exams to be at home and ‘support’ (monitor) the child; etc. 

Children are also faced with their own set of stressors. Like, the pressure of performance so that parents will be happy and proud of them; the eagerness to be done with exams so that they can enjoy the holidays; the fear of failure; peer pressure / competition; etc.

It is no surprise that all these behaviours lead to a home environment which is tense and stressful!

While anxiety is natural, it’s important not to pass it on to children. Remaining calm and instilling confidence in children will help them face the challenge with better ease. Support your child through the exam season. Your child’s physical, psychological, emotional and mental wellbeing during this time is extremely important and requires your support in more ways than one. 

In addition, take active steps to manage your anxiety – talk to a trusted person about your fears and worries; manage your health by getting adequate nutrition, exercise and sleep; continue with your other interests – be it work or hobbies; plan for relaxation time with your family. These will  help you be more effective as a source of support for your child during this stressful phase.