A suicide almost always takes us by surprise, but when someone seemingly successful and happy takes their own life, it is even more surprising. Celebrities like Robin Williams, Antony Bourdain and Kate Spade spring to mind. These people seemed happy and well in control of their well-ordered, successful lives and yet they chose to end them. And like them, there could be people in our lives who are smiling and appear to be in control but are quietly struggling with their demons inside. 

People with smiling depression are able to mask their symptoms well enough to fool even people who see them every day. The traditional idea of depression, and what happens in a large percentage of cases, is a person who is struggling to get out of bed in the mornings, loses interest in previously pleasurable activities, cries frequently, has changes in appetite, sleep and weight, experiences fatigue, hopelessness, worthlessness and guilt. Someone who has smiling depression might experience several or all these symptoms but from the outside they look active, high functioning individuals, with steady jobs, successful careers and families. When you meet them, you could have pleasant and long conversations and never have an idea of the internal trauma they are undergoing. 

Loss of a loved person, relationship or job, relationship difficulties, or illness in the family and substance abuse can all trigger depression. However, depression can also not have an evident, external cause, especially an immediate one. Past sexual, emotional or physical abuse can cause depression, sometimes even years later. Depression can have a genetic cause and can run in families. Even if there is no visible reason for depression, the depression might be very real. Hence a person who is able to mask their depression and may not seem like they have a cause to be depressed, can hide it from family and friends for a long time. 

These people could be severely depressed inside, dropping their masks only when they are alone. They could experience hopelessness, worthlessness and even suicidal ideation. They can experience a genuine lift in mood when something positive happens - for example when they get a message from someone they have been craving to hear from, or they get appreciated for their work. But this is temporary with the mood dropping very soon afterwards. 

People who are able to mask their depression are more vulnerable to suicide. In traditional depression, the energy levels are so low that even if suicidal thoughts are present, the person might not have enough energy to carry through. In smiling depression, the energy levels are not affected which makes it possible that they are able to carry through their plans for self-harm. Their deaths often take everyone around them by surprise. 

Smiling depression is very common. About 5.3% of men and 8.7% of women are depressed and about 40% of these people are able to mask it well. If you feel that someone you know could be suffering from depression despite a smiling front, do encourage them to seek help. If you feel that you could be suffering from depression, do get in touch with a counsellor.