Extensive research over decades clearly indicates that the key to long term happiness and a sense of physical and emotional wellbeing is to have significant and meaningful relationships. This could be with one’s family, friends or colleagues. However, due to our busy schedules and day-to-day responsibilities, it is not always easy to maintain a regular connect with these important people.

Humans are social beings and social support is central to physical and psychological health. It isn’t the number of relationships we have that help us in life, but the positive experiences we get from these relationships.

How, then do we maintain a connection?

Tip1. Identify your most meaningful and supportive connections so you have adequate support when you need it.

Not all the people we know are equally important for our sense of wellbeing. It helps to pause and identify from where our most meaningful support comes. For example, you might be happy to chat over coffee with a particular person, but not feel close enough to go to their home, uninvited, for a meal.  If you need someone to help with some legal work, whom would you trust? It may not be that person you meet for coffee.

There are layers of trust, and layers of ease with which we interact with people. Identify your layers, so you have sufficient people in the situations and times you need.

Tip 2. Identify the reasons you may not be accessing the support that there is around you.

Perhaps you are shy, or you are anxious interacting with others. Or perhaps you  don’t like to reach out, afraid to be seen as someone who is needy?  Building social connections, relationships and being comfortable doing so is a skill, it can be learned, and like all skills learning gets easier with practice. 

The first step is identifying the reason for your hesitation, then get what you need to help you overcome it. The wellness and value of accessing support is well worth the effort required. Start small. Any positive interaction – even as little as a smiling ‘good morning’ is worth something. To make the most of interactions, consider showing genuine interest in others and how they’re coping – offering help where you can, asking what would help others, or just listening to them would make the cut. Sharing positive news, bringing up old memories can be a ‘feel-good’ for many people at this time. An activity that could help is organizing old photo and video albums.. 

Tip 3.  Social connections get stronger when you both give and ask for support.

Research shows that all relationships work best when they are equal. This means there is an equal investment from both sides. To help us connect better, we must be willing to both give and get support. 

Find ways to be a friend to people that are important to you. Listen to them, remember special days, do things together this can even just be taking a walk together, cultivate a hobby and share notes, and definitely be there for them in their time of need. Giving makes asking for help that much easier.

Tip 4. Use technology when we cannot meet in person and to strengthen ties to over come physical distances.

What we have learned during the pandemic is that we can use technology in multiple ways to stay in touch. Technology itself has evolved to allow us to connect with others in easy and new ways.

Dinners, book club meetings, happy hours, movie nights, karaoke, workouts, and game nights – if not in person, then schedule them online. Of course, they fall short compared to being around people physically. But they’d still do us good, and it is better than not doing it. Research says that being able to look at other’s facial expressions can help with feelings of loneliness and depression.  

Even making a conscious effort to connect with people we have not been in touch with - sending a message, making a call - can help us revive connections, and most often leave us feeling refreshed.

These tips are starting points to begin planning your own ways to connect with what will create increased wellness for you… equipping you to stay well and happy even in these unpredictable times.

With social support being so important, if you are having difficulty building or accessing this kind of social support, or are experiencing the negative emotions of loneliness, or lack the energy to live life with zest, our counsellors would be happy to help over an online session. Do reach out to us.