Binge-watched GOT all weekend and can’t wait to discuss the future of the Westereos with your friend? But wait a minute – a long week of 10-12 working hours per day looms ahead! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if could talk about all that’s exciting, heart-wrenching and disappointing whether it’s GOT or anything else that interests you – with someone right next to you? A co-worker who’s also a friend! 

After all, most of us spend long hours at work and having friends there would provide support, encouragement and even fun. And of course, stressful times are easier to manage with someone to talk to! And did you know that social interactions actually enhance wellbeing? 

Yet, forming new friendships at work can sometimes be challenging. Friendships mean different things to different people, some may wish to find close friends at work and some may not.

What comes in the way? - Whether it’s the same gender or the opposite one, making friends at office is much more difficult compared to school and college years. With age we tend to be more set in our ways, and making friends gets harder. The sheer number of people can also be overwhelming. Fear of being judged or rejected can also can also come in the way. 

What can one do about it? - Start with a smile and a simple hello or good morning. Introduce yourself and if your co-worker already knows you could bring up a safe topic. Ask them their views on the new Union territories of the country, the latest movie or even the viral video of the dog refusing to walk! Do also talk a little about yourself to get the conversation going, but remember not to hijack the conversation. Allow them to speak, and listen attentively. Ask them if they want something when you are going for a break. A workplace event or team outing is a good time to get to know people too, and you can even volunteer to help arrange these. It might seem daunting, but becomes easier with practice.

What not to do? Avoid asking very personal questions. It takes time to get familiar so give the other person space The same level of enthusiasm and interest may not be shared by all. Be sensitive to their reactions and don’t cross boundaries of professional conduct. Do remember that one can instantly ‘click’ with one person but take longer with another or not connect at all. Forcing someone who isn’t interested will just ruin the work atmosphere and no one wants that. 

Be confident and put your best foot forward!                     

If just the thought of all this is overwhelming and worrying, do reach out to a counsellor who can help putting these steps into practice.