Humans are emotional beings and anger is definitely one emotion that we don’t escape. And not just within us, we don’t get to escape being around other people who are angry!

We all might have experienced situations where our family or friends were angry – and we had to either deal with it or step back.

But what about angry co-workers? How should one handle their anger?

How we react would have to differ based on the situations, but here are some things to take a note of:

• Never tell the person to ‘Calm down!’ or ‘Don’t be angry’. Not only does this not help, it might serve to make the person even angrier since it can sound patronising. They are already angry, and calming down won’t happen on command.
• Acknowledge their feelings, and try to recognize why they might be feeling that way. Being understood can help a lot at such times.
• Try to stay calm yourself, rather than matching them in their anger – that is not likely to help anyone.
• Give the person space if they need it. Talking about the issue immediately might not work for some people.

We might also find ourselves working with someone who gets very angry, a lot of the time.

In such a situation, it is important that you learn not to take it personally. It is likely that even if the person is constantly taking their anger out on you, it might be the same for whomever was in your place. So it does not necessarily mean that they are out to get you, even if it might feel that way.

Furthermore, maintaining healthy boundaries is what will help to ease these difficulties. If someone is shouting, let them know that you will talk to them when they are calmer and step away. This is not an easy thing to do, yes, but in many cases, it is worth the attempt.

Identifying the problem is something else that will help, as well as engaging in discussion. An often-heard response to that is “he/she is the problem!” but let’s go beyond that and try to see what their real issue is – maybe it is something stressful that is happening in their personal life, or they are under pressure at work, or they are feeling threatened. Understanding that is the first step. Discussing it, and looking for a solution comes after that. If nothing else works, a third-party might need to intervene.

Difficult, angry co-workers are often a ‘side-effect’ of the workplace and working through it is a skill we can learn to address.

If you thought of someone in particular while reading this, or need assistance dealing with your own anger, counselling can help.