Whether married or in a romantic relationship, the dynamics between partners change over time. Every relationship is unique and has a journey of its own. However, there are some common stages that can be identified and this helps us recognize where we stand as a couple.

Stage 1: Honeymoon

The first stage is often known as the “honeymoon” stage. There is a mixture of excitement and nervousness when you think of your partner. This is where everything about the partner is amazing, cute, perfect and they can do no wrong. If they are disorganized, you are amazed that they live in the moment, if they love to clean then you find it endearing that they care about how they live. They are constantly on your mind and you cannot stop thinking about them. Your whole world revolves around your partner.

Stage 2: Attachment

After 6 months to 2 years, the relationship moves to the next stage of early attachment. This is when couples feel closer and have a deeper sense of the partner and the relationship. You may have handled some problems together or had some disagreements and have a better understanding of your partner’s personality. Also, you are able to function without thinking of your partner 24/7, which is a huge shift from the previous stage!

Stage 3: Crisis!

Over time, a couple moves into the crisis stage, which is a natural progression, if partners have continued to stay together after the last phase. No relationship is perfect and this stage certainly proves it. You begin to notice everything that is wrong with your partner and wonder if this is the same person you fell in love with. When you feel that your partner is not who you thought they were, it can cause disappointment and anger. Their past behaviours which you liked, like them being disorganized or their need to clean can become annoying and even cause conflicts. Fights can increase and couples may drift apart to avoid the partner and take more interest in work, interests or other relationships with friends and family members. This is a crucial phase where a lot of relationships end or the couple decides to work together and get through it. If a couple is able to navigate through this stage, they move to the final stage.

Stage 4: We’ll stay together

The deep attachment stage is significantly different from the previous stages. There is more of stability and calmness that is seen. A couple know the good, bad and ugly sides of their partners. They feel confident that they can face problems together and come up with ways to deal with them in the future. Couples feel secure and are able to trust each other and work towards common goals and dreams.

What stages do you relate with from the above?

If you wish to talk more about this, you can talk to our counsellors and discuss more about the stage of your relationship.