First dates aren’t always the easiest!

You might have been in touch with someone through social media or a dating app, or have met them through a friend, or known them for a long time – and now it’s a date! Depending on what your situation is and how you met this other person, there are different things that you might find challenging about the occasion.

Here are some things that might help make it a fun time for you and your date:

• It’s the first date, so relax, and have a good time connecting with the other person and getting to know them. The more you pressure yourself to say and do the ‘right’ things in order to impress them, the less enjoyable you will find it.
   
• Don’t wear something you are uncomfortable with, just to impress. Dress the way you like, so that you can focus on other things during the date.
   
• Pick a venue / activity that you are comfortable with. For example, if you are not sure about keeping up conversation for a long period of time, choose to meet for coffee instead of a meal.
   
• Conversing with someone new is not always smooth and easy. Keep a mental list of interesting questions / conversation starters, in case the silences get too long, or you find you have nothing in common. Some safe topics to discuss are preferences in movies, sport, interests and perhaps even work or studies.
   
• Have fun with the conversation! And if there are awkward pauses, that’s okay as well. That’s natural. Avoid asking too many probing questions to fill-in the gaps. Instead share a little incident or anecdote from your life to make it easy for the other person to open up.
   
• But avoid hogging the limelight and talking too much about yourself. Allow the other person to talk and listen attentively – use verbal and non-verbal cues to indicate that you are listening and encourage them to go on, avoid cutting them short to talk about yourself.
   
• Try not to focus on ‘what next’. Be in the moment. Think of it as meeting a new friend rather than a date, if that helps.
   
• They may not be the way you expected them to be, but don’t let that put you off. Be open to the other person.
   
• But also be careful! Don’t reveal too much personal information about yourself, just in case you decide not to continue to a second date.
   
• In case you have met this person through an online dating forum or app, make sure to be safe – meet at a public place, tell a friend where you are meeting, and don’t depend on your date for transport.

If you have any more questions about what to do or say on your date, reach out and discuss it with a counsellor in confidence.

Enjoy your first date! And whether the next is the second date, or another first, have fun!