Research shows as many as 1 in 3 women have undergone some form of domestic abuse; and yet it is certainly not restricted to women. Men are abused too, especially verbally and emotionally. Domestic abuse can happen in homosexual relationships, across social classes and educational levels.

Domestic violence rarely happens out of the blue. There are usually warning signs, signs that go unrecognized or not acted upon in the hope of a change.

• Relationship moves at a rate you are not comfortable with. There is increased pressure to commit, to have a physical relationship or even marriage before you spend enough time together.
   
• You feel like you are being constantly watched. There is constant surveillance of who you chat with, talk to and meet. Stalking and monitoring (in person or via the internet or methods like GPS tracking of your phone etc.)
   
• Jealousy and control disguised as love – “I love you so much, I cannot bear the thought of losing you”.
   
• There is control over all areas of your life. Control over who you spend time with, how much money you spend, what you wear and what you eat. There could even be control over what you talk to your family and friends about.
   
• The abuser tries to isolate you from others be it your parents, siblings or friends.
   
• The abuser has unrealistic standards that you are expected to match. You are made to feel worthless or even that you do not love them if you do not match those standards.
   
• They make you responsible for their anger. They say you made them angry by your words or behaviour.
   
• You see extreme anger and even cruelty aimed at others, especially those that cannot react or hit back like animals and children.
   
• There could be force involved in sex. He could enjoy ‘pretending to rape’ you. There could be manipulation resulting you performing sexual acts that you are not comfortable with.
   
• There could be severe mood swings in which they shift from loving to anger in minutes.
   
• They could threaten violence. May say things like they will hurt or even kill you or your family and later say that they didn’t mean it.

If you find yourself experiencing any of the above signs, talk to a counsellor or a trusted person right away.