We enter into romantic relationships with the best of intentions, hopes and dreams, but things don’t always go as we wish. And the break-up of a relationship can be unpleasant and sometimes even dangerous – especially if there was any violence or abuse in the relationship. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, in the aftermath of a break-up is important.

Here are some things that you could think about doing, if you are in such a situation, or know someone who is:

• Don’t be alone – Being alone at vulnerable times might result in you feeling sad or lonely, being caught in a downward spiral of emotions, and maybe taking impulsive decisions such as getting in touch with the ex. Be around other people you trust, even if you just want to cry with them, or talk, or do nothing at all.

• Have a safe space – Tell trusted friends and/or family about what has happened. If you need a place to go and switch off, identify whose place will allow you that level of care and comfort and go.

• Be safe – If the other person has been physically violent in any way, make sure you are not alone with them, during or after the break up. If they have been verbally or emotionally abusive with you, then don’t read any texts that they might send, or respond to any overtures they might make.

• Be tech safe – In case they had access to your email or social media accounts, make sure you change the passwords to something that they will not be able to figure out. Put your privacy controls in place so that they cannot access your pictures directly, or through their friends.

• Decide what you want to tell other people – In case your ex is hurt about the break up and says things about you which are not true to others, be prepared with how to manage it. You don’t need to engage in pointless unpleasant back-and-forth, or in justifying yourself. You can state your side of the story and make sure that you have people in your corner.

• Don’t take big decisions immediately – When we are emotional, we might make impulsive decisions which are not always the best for us. So before you find yourself with a radical haircut, tattoo or anything of the sort, take a step back and wait a few days (or weeks) before going in for it.

• Find healthy outlets for your emotions – Some things might seem like they give you relief (like drinking, smoking, watching TV excessively, eating unhealthily etc.) but these harm you in the long run. So try instead, to find other vents for your emotions. Some healthy ones include talking to people, exercising, journaling, meditating and distracting yourself.

If you have tried these strategies and still are finding it difficult to cope (or if you have trouble figuring out how to apply them!), do reach out for counselling help. Talking things over with a counsellor can help give you some perspective on things, and situation-specific ways to manage your emotions.